Our Little Weekend Routine

And then it's become like a routine.... video chatting via MSN on the weekends.  SN even got up early, like 4 a.m. in the morning, so he can have this video chat with me.

It's not that I don't enjoy that or anything but SN is always headed toward the "sex chat zone" - which I think it's kinda odd.  I use webcam because I want to see his face and hear his voice, not to see another person's private body part.

Whatttteverrr.... I know he loves to tease me about it.  He says "You're such a shy girl, baby"  What's wrong with me being shy?  It's not like it's a crime !!??  Sometimes he teases me too much that it is so frustrating.

Like last night for example, while we were talking and telling how much we missed one another.  SN was like, "Babe.... can I see your boobies please??" Of course, I firmly rejected him. What the heck was he thinking?  But again, after more and more of "please", I took a photo of my boobies and sent it to SN.  Now...WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING???!!!

Still, we always have a great time with this video call chatting :)

Are We Heading Towards the Dead End ??!!

When I woke up this morning, this crazy idea came to my mind.  I thought to myself "let's go to the movie before going to work."  It's not that crazy when you office hour starts from 13:30. So yeah, what the hell.... I went to see The Confession of the Shopaholic.  A little bit disappointed though, it wasn't as fun as I expected.  I do love the girl who starred as Rebecca Bloomwood.  Still can't believe that she's in her 30's!! Damn... she 's even look younger than me.

Anyway, I arrived at the office an hour late today, like 14:30.  I hurry signed in MSN and there he was.... online.... waiting for me....

One tip to our LRD is that I'll try to share my routine life as much as possible.  So we wouldn't feel much of the distance.  (Besides, that's what I always do to KL, my local boyfriend, anyway)

I don't know people.... I felt that there's something wrong today.  I did all the talk most of the time.  SN hardly replied my right away.  It took about 5 minutes for him to reply me back.  How weird was that ??  I mean he used to be all that excited about talking to me online.

SN even mentioned that "I don't know what to say about .....(whatever I was talking about)......" OUCH !!!   It was like I'm falling in this dark hole and he doesn't want to catch me anymore.

Am I losing that promotion honeymoon phase ???  

But we've been together for only 2 months ??!!

I don't know how I'm gonna deal with this but I know that this doesn't feel right.  

Why suddenly he has nothing to say to me ??!!

1st Valentine with SN

For the sake of Valentine's Day, I need to blog about this.

On Friday 13th - sounds scary huh - SN sent me roses.  He lives all the way to New Zealand but he was managed to send beautiful roses to me.  (unlike KL, we've been together for almost 7 years and I received flowers from him only four times.)

No girls could ever say no to flowers, right ??

And on actual Valentine's Day - 14 February 2009 - SN called me just to say "Happy Valentine". Another unexpected surprised.  I can always feel "this thing / spark" between us.  Just thinking about it, makes me smile already.

Everything is still sweet and fine between me and SN.  We still talk with each other every single weekdays (I don't online on the weekends).  He mentioned about "marriage" soooo often that it scared the hell out of me.  A part of me wants to marry him, but another part of me is terrified about what will happen between me and his daughter !!

I know.... I wanna be with him but I don't wanna confront his daughter.  Needless to say, I'll come second.  No matter how badly I want SN to choose me over his daughter but I'm well aware that it would be wrong.  It is wrong just thinking about it actually.

Taking one step at a time seems like the best thing to do in this LDR.

Sex Chat :: not a yay, more like a nay!

Somewhere after midnight last night, while I was enjoying 'Dirt', SN came online.  I was happy, of course, to see him again - although we just talked like 6 hours ago.  I suddenly ignored 'Dirt' and talked to him. LOL.

After those sweet greetings, he asked if I could turn on the webcam.  So we had another good little webcam session again :-)  It's only been 5 days and SN looks a little bit different.  His hair got longer!  Funny, how you can notice this stupid little details when you're in LDR.

And guess what, every time we turn on the webcam, we'll always go to the 'cyber-sex-chat' zone. Frankly speaking, I have never had this kind of conversation in my entire life!!  I have no idea how or where to start.  (Although I could feel that I was getting wet while talking about how badly we want each other).  I mean a part of me still finds cyber-sex-talk disgusting.  It's much better if we just DO IT, you know.

I'm thinking about buying new webcam.  This built-in one is totally suck.  I had to turn the lights back on so SN can see me last night.  What a wasted gadget !! 

p.s. I couldn't help myself to feel excited about this coming Valentine's :-D

Webcam - the Latest Gadget (for me)

Thanks to the technology. Wait, don't get me wrong!  I'm everything but last-season girl.  I'm using 3G iPhone, for christ sake!!

Last saturday night, I and SN were playing webcam.  Believe it or not, it was my fucking FIRST TIME using webcam ??!!  I don't know why I bought the laptop with a built-in webcam in the first place. LOL

As we all know, the built-in webcam has such a bad quality but it WAS great. It was FUN.  I can actually hear his voice.  We didn't type to one another anymore, we talked.  TALKED.   I almost forgot what he sounds like.  I couldn't even stop smiling. :D

Woooohoooo :)  I love webcam.

Hearing his voice and seeing him live, kinda make me want him even more.

Believe it or not, because of this little webcam session we had, he actually told me that he's coming to see me in March.  That's like next month !! I'm so happy I wanna scream out loud. 

And yes, thank you whoever invented that fucking webcam.